Why hello there stranger

Two words. Blog fail.
It's been over a year since my last post. It's a good thing this isn't my job and I don't get paid for it. I'd be living on the mean streets of NYC if that were the case.  I suppose an abbreviated update is necessary. Finished my last outdoor season with a pretty stellar PR. Became an assistant coach at a local Division 3 college, I headed up the Distance crew. Started a long distance relationship with a pretty incredible guy in Minnesota. Battled through a cross country, indoor and outdoor season with my athletes, watching and helping them break through barriers and have PR after PR. Battled through finding a balance to train myself while coaching and working to make end's meat, complete with total flops and PWs (personal worsts). Made a huge life decision to move at the end of this summer from the beloved coast I was born and raised on and my big city living, to the middle of nowhere country, MN (I might be over exaggerating the middle of nowhere part) to be with that previous mentioned incredible guy.

Now here I am, it's July 4th. After my coaching season ended in May, I decided I was going to buckle down and try to salvage the rest of my outdoor season. It hasn't exactly gone as planned, actually it's been way worse. I knew I was not in tip top shape but I didn't think I was as bad off as I really was. While I tried to maintain throughout coaching, I wasn't consistent. That was one key. I also forgot to maintain my mental game, looking back that was one of my biggest flaws. I took all the bad performances pretty hard and to heart. I had given up any and all hope to go to Club Nationals and running a decent time. While I had the standard, I couldn't afford to trip out West without monetary assistance and with team budget cuts, I was the bottom of the totem pole to receive anything.

This past Wednesday things took a change. Thankfully my range of abilities on the track (while not always top tiered) sometimes helps me in some situations, other times it can be a hindrance. This time I used it to my advantage. The only way I was going out to Seattle for Club Nats with help for funding was if I could do multiple events. Seeing as I only had the standard in 400IH, I was a bit in a bind, until I realized we didn't have someone in the steeplechase. Good thing for me both steeple and hurdles are typically under fielded with athletes so goal isn't for time rather than to finish to grab as many team points as possible (I did this a few years ago in Nebraska). That range also helped with relays. So with that my grim outlook was turned around and next week I'll  be flying out to Washington to compete with my team. I have zero expectations for times in races, the goal is to finish as high in place as I can to score points and to fight through the race pain to give my all. I know no matter what I do my season won't have the outcome I wanted but hopefully these final races will bring a little bit of peace to it.

Rinse and repeat

Step one laugh all day. Step 2 believe in yourself and your training. Step three PR. Rinse and repeat for the next 6 weeks until the end of the season.

Boom just like that another hurdle race down, a teeny tiny personal best achieved and goal #2 crossed off my goal board. While I admit I did have a little bit higher expectations for this race, I'm not dissatisfied. For one a PR is a PR. Two this was probably the first race, dare I say, that felt easy. Saying that a race felt easy may not be the best thing, because clearly it means I held back, but it's also not a bad thing because it means if I ran what I did and it "felt easy" it means potential to race even faster (which is actually an amazing thing).
I executed my race mostly like I wanted. The 2 biggest steps I've been working on in practice are cutting back on my studder stepping and alternating legs. I'm proud to say there was far less stammering to hurdles and I willfully switched legs when necessary (this is huge). My speed tells me I'm able to go way faster, (hence a pretty fabulous run down of a girl ahead of me after hurdle 10), now the goal is putting two and two together and turning on that next gear earlier in the race. I've got 2 more hurdle races and a handful of flat races before Club Nationals. If I'm able to keep the momentum going I think I might even surpass my own expectations. Sky's the limit, onward and upward I go.

In da Club

This post is being brought to you by a convo I found myself in today, and one that I've been in a couple times. I'm surprised in the years I've had this blog I haven't actually composed a post on this yet (though it's quite possible that I have started one and just never got around to finishing it, oops).

Most of the time when I tell people I'm a runner, they ask "oh well what do you run?" (most assuming I'm going to say marathon), then I say 400 hurdles, then the next question is "What school do you run for?" then the even more perplexed look of  'Huh' when I say I'm not in school. Then the long winded explanation that I run for a club and no I don't get paid to torture myself. Then I come across the conversations with the semi-recreational runner, and next thing you know I'm telling them (strongly urging) you should join a club. I get the doubtful response of "Well I don't know, I'm not fast enough", because they know of the club or clubs I have run for boast the elite athlete, Olympians, and the such. They also have this crazy notion that I'm really fast (this is only partially true). So I'm here to give you my fairly elaborate story and bring hopefully some displacement of fears and info to those not in know.

The back story, started running in middle school eons ago, ran throughout high school, walked on the team in college my frosh year, trained that year but didn't compete (red shirted), then quit. This was 2000. Yada yada, got lazy, decided partying and being social butterfly was way more important and didn't run at all for 3 years (I'm sure most of my college friends didn't even know that I at any point of knowing me was a serious runner at any point in my life). Then had to escape that life and moved to Boston. Fast forward to April 2004, my first experience with a marathon ever, not going to lie I really had no clue what a marathon consisted of. From my colleges I was under the impression this was a day for an excuse to day drink. My bartending comrades and I set forth near the finish line to chug back way too many libations. We poked our heads outside to cheer on some of the runners passing by, then it out of no where it happened. This flush of excitement, I felt this insane connection to these people passing by, I wanted to jump over the barriers and run with them. Ignored that crazy feeling and went back in for even more margaritas and shots, then decided I had entirely too much to drink and decided to walk stumble home. It was in that very instance walking by the finish line watching foil wrapped runner after runner passing me by that my eyes started filling with tears (thankfully I had sunglasses to cover this up). Holy crap I REALLY missed running. The very next day I went for a run, then went for run after run. I was hooked again. I signed up for a 5 miler that fall, my first at that distance ever. Threw in a 5K here & there.

Fast forward again to Boston Marathon April 2005. Still using the day to party hard, this time drunk me overcome with those runner emotions went into Niketown and bought a pair of sneakers and then convinced myself I was going to run the 113th Boston Marathon (113th only because 13 is my lucky #). Started making some 5K races a yearly ritual, getting faster each time too. Fast forward to July 2006, signed up for the Iron Girl 5K a few months prior forgot about it (forgot = I started dating someone) and didn't really train for it. Ran a not so shabby time and placed 3rd in my age group. It was at that point I knew I had to do something with my running, if I could run what I ran without any real training, I had some untapped potential I needed to get out. I thought ok, not my first choice but road runner I will be.

That August signed up for my 5 miler again (year #3) and decided if I was going to be a road runner I needed a pair of zippy racing flats to fit the bill. I went to Faneuil Hall to the Bill Rodgers Store (now no longer) to acquire said zippy shoes and while dude went to get my size for the flats I liked, I found myself staring at the spike wall and holding a spike. When he came out he asked if I needed a size to try on for the spikes too, I said no. Then we started to talking about my running past and my missing of the track. He tells me why don't you join a club. At this point I had no idea what club running consisted of. In my mind I thought it was like a book club, where people who like to run got together and ran. Not exactly what I was in the market for. Then he said no that's not it at all and next thing you know with my racing flats I had a business card with a list of coaches and their respective clubs.

It took a few months but eventually I finally went online and looked up each club and emailed the coaches inquiring about the clubs. This was December 2006. Only one coach actually got back to me, it was Greater Boston Track Club. Now at this point I was 6 almost 7 years out of any kind of track shape. I mean don't get me wrong I wasn't a lug, I had been running on a "regular" basis and lifting but I was in no means in any kind of great shape, especially for the track. Even with this I was welcomed aboard no questions or judgement given. The 1st year was a struggle for me as I was certainly the bottom of the chain, I was slow in comparison to the majority. Actually for the next year or so my name always graced the bottom of the performance lists. Thing is while this did bother and frustrate me to no end, my coach never ever once said hey you're the slowest person on the team you should think about quitting. Actually it was the complete opposite he encouraged me and pushed me as well as my fellow teammates who rooted me on no matter whether in my eyes was failing or succeeding. These people became my extended family, some of my greatest friends to this day. When I moved to NYC that was the thing I clung on to hard, I was afraid to leave them and join my current team. Obviously when I realized I couldn't train hard on the track alone and was going to stay in New York, I transferred over to Central Park Track Club and then found another group of amazing training mates/teammates and coach, who in the same have been my big supporters and cheer section, continuously pushing me beyond limits I thought were possible.

For anyone that doubts their "fast enough" running abilities, if my story doesn't compel you to rethink your thoughts on joining a local club team, well I don't know what else to tell you. There are so many options out there for every level, whether you want to stick to the roads, try out the track or just get faster. Don't be afraid to take a chance and check one out. If you don't know where to start, http://www.usatf.org/clubs/search/ will give a list of active clubs near you; email around, check out their websites if they have one, ask to go to a practice with them. You might find your extended family like I did, you might get to those goals you have in the back of your mind that you didn't think could be a possibly, or you could just have tons of fun with a bunch of other like minded "crazies".

365: Week 18

4/29/13 (1): Runner, personal trainer, waitress/bartender, soon to be coach, and can now add super bling packager to my many talents
4/29/13 (2): had a ridiculous multi course meal then this...Uh is this really happening right now?? Not a Yankees fan but this is pretty amazeballs
4/30/13:  Art sculptures and spring go together like rama-lama-lama-ka-ding-a-de-ding-de-dong
5/1/13: Found while cleaning today...just in case I forgot, which I could never
5/2/13:  If you need me, you can find me on the corner of Worth and Avenue of the Strongest...also it's officially 1/3 of the way through the year
5/3/13:  Pretty building on the outside, not so pretty to spend a couple days inside.
5/4/13: May the 4th be with you. Ha I crack myself up
5/5/13:  It sometimes astonishes me that this beauty is smack dab in the middle of this concrete jungle

4/29 (1)

4/29 (2)

4/30

5/1

5/2

5/3

5/4

5/5

Artist in training

Back either the end of February or maybe it was March, I came across a post from my team for someone looking for participants in their thesis study for anxiety before competition. Upon seeing this I knew I had to jump aboard. I know that part of my "bad" performances in races is because I let my head get in the way. Though not apparent to the eye because I often try to hide it, I suffer from anxiety before races, and not the good kind that every athlete should have. Usually race day it's a median level, but days before is when it kicks in overdrive to a point that it's incredibly unhelpful and not facilitating. I start to get my head wrapped around every little detail of my race, not entirely a bad thing except while doing that I forget key components to my race body and mind. I don't eat properly, forget to eat sometimes, don't hydrate, and worry myself to not sleeping. This has been a problem for some time.
I'd like to say that I've exhausted all my possibilities with helping it but I know I could do more. One of my former teammates from Boston is a sports psychologist, we chatted once or twice about it, it helped a little but I definitely could of done more follow ups. I've incorporated music into my pre race routine, this actually has insanely helped with day of competition nerves. Self motivation talk, this helps until I let a hint of doubt creep in, then I'm dunzo. So after a few emails back and forth with thesis guy about the just of his study, I thought, why not it couldn't hurt.

The basic premise of his study was having athletes use art therapy as a way to ease anxiety before competition. I would spend an hour a week, once a week for 5 weeks drawing in journal, I started
April 2nd and finished up last Tuesday (April 30). It was an out of the box experience and took me out of my comfort zone. I'm no stranger to the art world, when I was young I was very into art and drawing (I've since retired that practice) and I've been camera/photography obsessed for I can't even remember how long (still am, hence the obvious 365 project rolling throughout this blog).  Though it was something that I loved to do at one point it was intimidating and slightly nerve racking at first. Eventually I settled in. We worked on ways to get my racing anxiety woes to be more controlled and put a plan of pre race action into action. Elicited drawings for me to look at and envision to evoke positive waves to ease my nerves. This helped because often times I see these things in my head but then my mind races elsewhere so it doesn't stick.
In the end I throughly enjoyed it. I'd like to think it leant at least a small helping hand to those couple early outdoor PRs (because it's the beginning of the season it's hard to say it's a definite). Either way it has help me feel more relaxed and calm. I will certainly keep it up and use it as a tool for upcoming races. I'd recommend trying it out.

Surprise

Surprises in my experience are either really really good or really really suck. The former is always welcome. My last case of surprise came at first as not so welcomed but ended up turning to splendid. After a pretty rough week of an emotional roller coaster from the Boston dealings, a fellow teammate/friend and I decided to have a Friday girls night in, wallowing in cupcakes, banana bread and beer. Then randomly at 930p my text message goes off, I ignored since we were mid chat. About 30 min later checked my phone to see what the text was, it was from my coach. This was the dialog Coach: Penn Relay 4x400 Me: Um do you need me? Hadn't planned on running it Coach: Surprise Me: Ok End text convo. Yes I was surprised, then got a little excited, then a little annoyed (because it was last minute) then a excited again (because I thought wow my coach has faith that I can hang with the uber fast girls) then annoyed again (because it changed my racing plans from doing an open meet and racing hurdles). The next couple days were on the verge of frustration. How was I getting to Philly? When was I going to be able to race hurdles again? Then finding out there were 2 teams and I was on the "B" Team. Though not an ounce of offense to the other relay mates on that team, I didn't want to forgo an open race to race a relay with the slower of the teams. I know that sounds rude and selfish but in my defense I only have so many opportunities to race hurdles. I eventually snapped out of my grumbling because I know that Penn Relays is supposed to be fun. I had even tried to scheme racing the relay on Friday then sauntering to NJ on Saturday to fulfill my original race plans (last min squashed those plans when I realized it wouldn't have been in my best interest to do that). Pouty mood still a little in effect I hopped on the afternoon bus to Philadelphia, thankfully I had one of my prior training mates and good friend there to disperse my not so pleasantness. It was a gorgeous day, sunny and perfect running weather. We got in a little after 2p, she was set to run in the 4x100 at 5:20p and then both of us in the 4x4 at 7pm, her on the "A" team, me on the "B". After we got to Franklin Field we found our coach to get passes and run down on relays. At that point the first team was down a leg, coach shuffled 1 of the other girls off the second team on to the first, I was lead leg of the second team. Not going to lie I kinda sulked over that for a second because I had hoped that I might be moved up, but I accepted his decision. A little bit afterward he pulled me aside and asked what I thought I could run (since I haven't run an open 400 outdoors yet). I told him wholeheartedly believed I could run a sub 60. He said it was between me and another girl as to who he wanted to put on the A team because we were about the same time wise and he wanted to run the fastest team possible for that team. As much as I wanted to scream pick me put me on that team, I told him my peace of confidence in myself and said that it was his choice and whatever he thought was the right choice I would accept it and run as fast as I could on whichever team I was on. I was very proud of my non meltdown and acceptance during that conversation. Then around 5pm when my coach came by with our relay bibs, he handed them to me said "A" 3rd leg. Say what?! Woah, wasn't expecting that. I looked at him and said "Really, are you sure?", with my heart and stomach doing back flips from the excitement/over joy and then nerves because I knew a lot was riding on my performance now. He nodded and said yes. Surprise. Yes another surprise indeed. At 6pm I set forth on my warmup, then at 20 min til we made our way to the paddock area. Apparently that was late and we were rushed in as they had last called our event. Oops! There were supposed to be 6 teams in the Women's Olympic Development 4x400, to our surprise (yep surprises all around this meet) there was only 1 other team in the holding cube with us, other than the 2nd team. Huh interesting. With the team in there (a team not so known to be sprinters), there really was very little way the "A" Team couldn't win (minus a DQ). We kept waiting to see if the crazy even super faster teams were going to join us in the paddock but it never happened. Then it was go time. Our first girl got out blazing, then 2nd leg, then I lined up to grab the baton for the 3rd leg. I have only once ran at Penn, it was 6 years ago and it was in a 4x100, I knew the track was weird but I didn't really know how weird until I stepped on to run a 400. I got out was running completely by myself, no one was ahead, and the next girl was about 6-10 seconds behind me. I don't really remember much of my leg other than thinking I was at the 200m mark and telling myself to turnover when I was actually at the 270m (weird track). Then passed the baton to the anchor girl and wobbled towards my other teammates on the infield. After our anchor girl finished they ushered us quickly over to the podium stand, gave us each the infamous gold Penn Relays watch the winners are presented with, then had our picture taken. It was all kind of surreal. I never in my years thought I'd have a Penn watch, granted it was by fluke, but still hours before I wasn't on that team. I ended up running a 60 flat which wasn't my goal but still a PB for me and I walked away from a winners stand. I'm not sure what the other girl that was in the toss up cusp ran, I believe it was about the same as me, I can only hope that I ran well enough that my coach's decision was made valid. In the end it turned to be a great surprise and one I won't likely forget.

365: Week 17

4/22/13: A moment of silence 2:50pm #BostonStrong
4/23/13: Freezing for practice but I guess I can let it slide to practice with this in the background
4/24/13:One singular word, so many endless connections to it
4/25/13: Diamonds are not this girl's best friend...her foam roller is...getting prepped for some Penn Relays action tomorrow
4/26/13: Turn of events moved me onto the "A" Team for the 4x4 and my team winning the infamous Penn Relays gold watch
4/27/13: Couldn't have asked for more perfect weather and an incredible day of Track and Field in Philly at an iconic meet...pure bliss
4/28/13: There is no exit that way, so either hold on for the ride, or turn around and change things

4/22

4/23

4/24

4/25

4/26

4/27

4/28

Let's play ball

Ok so this is not a game of ball but more however a game of playing catch up. My last real post beyond the Boston one was February 21. And well obviously things have happened in between that time and now. As much as I would like to give them all neatly separate posts, let's be honest if I attempt to do that I'll be playing catch up again, leaving the masses of 5 people wondering what's going on. I'm going to recap the past couple months hitting all key moments and trying to not leave out any relevant pieces. Hold on for the lovely ride back in time.

February:

Not going to lie this was a pretty low month for me, when I say low I mean bottomed out low. The saying when it rains it pours, well it was a mastermind storm going on for me. I'd love to elaborate on all the tidings and as therapeutic as it might be I'd rather not hash out all the personal details for the public to see, but it is noteworthy to share that things were bad. Running sucked, my racing sucked, work sucked, things just sucked all around. End of story.

March:

Beginning of March things weren't super great but they started to balance out for me. I will say that as bad as things were the last month I learned a lot about myself and truly grew as a person. I also learned to reach out. I tend to try attempt to tackle everything by myself, which is partially why I ended up in the place I was. But that's neither here nor there. In my personal life things really took off for me and turned a corner at the end of the month.

As for my running, indoor racing season officially ended for me March 5th. I capped off my crappy "train through" season with a mile. I wasn't quite in mile shape but I was curious and I also thought it might be the only way I could salvage the season not hitting a single goal on my goal list. I managed to scrap a 1 sec PB so I will deem that successful. I trained through the rest of the month prepping for outdoor season to start in April.

April:

April 1st was my soft outdoor track opener at St John's in Queens. At this point I hadn't stepped foot on an outside 400m track since November. Yikes! This isn't exactly conducive to 400 hurdles, since you really can't replicate the hurdle placement on an indoor track. The need to race hurdles as much as possible made this meet a necessity. It wasn't fantastic but it also wasn't completely disastrous. More a practice than anything, getting my body primed for the next couple months. I also threw in some 100 high hurdles in for good measure as a debut race since it was a very low key meet where I wouldn't feel intimidated. My goal was to finish and I did that, not pretty but ground work set in place.  

After the April 1 magic then kind of set in, that corner I was turning at the end of last month flipped me into extreme happiness and almost perfection (I say almost because there's always room for more awesomeness). I was connected with insanely incredible people and the already incredible people in my life were right there by my side. The weather was getting nicer, the things I struggled with in my running training came together. I was in bliss. 

April 13th I raced my official outdoor season opener in New Jersey, 400IH then double backed with a 200 right after. What was supposed to be a great post on this meet unfortunately turned to the shadow of the misdealings in Boston. This meet was beyond what I imagined it to be, even though I always have extreme hopeful ambitions. I ended up leaving for the meet a little/lot earlier than I wanted but was getting a ride from a good friend and teammate who was competing in the first event so I just made it work. We got there at 11a, hurdles weren't expected to go off until at least 330p and that didn't include if the meet ran behind (which it did). I decided during the extra downtime to hide away in the car and relax for a couple hours and hopefully decompress before I raced. I don't know if it was this time before hand, my training going well, life in place or possibly the art therapy (I'll have another post explaining this a little more in detail) but I managed a 1 sec PR (3 sec faster race than soft opener) AND some really spot on hurdles. I even hit a handful of hurdles with my right leg lead which I've never done in the past in a race (this is a struggle of mine, I will stutter to a hurdle to make it hit with my stronger left lead). My last hurdle which is often one of the weakest was probably the strongest hurdle of my race. I knew the second that I went over that hurdle it was exactly as it should be, then as touched down I caught a glimsp of the clock at the finish line and couldn't hold back the happiness. I didn't know the exact finish time but I KNEW it was PR. It was seriously the best feeling. Afterwards chatted with a couple teammates and even they said that was the best that they had seen me race. I couldn't get too over my moon since I still had a 200 to bang out. I was already "warmed up"  and pretty lactic from the race so I just sat still for the hot 15 min I had before I had to line up. Did a couple drills, shook out my legs, and wound my legs into the blocks when my heat was called to the line. I really had no super expectations from this race seeing as I just walked off the finish line of another race. When I came out of the blocks my legs were like bricks and did not want to turn over, eventually after 100 meters they got some turn to them. I could see the clock but it was hard to tell exactly what the official final time was. I thought I had a small PR but couldn't be certain until I saw the results. Low and behold it was a .5sec personal best! Well hot damn! Double PRs back to back in an opening meet. I couldn't have been more ecstatic. This. This was exactly that boost to my track ego that I needed. Still a ways to go and still a lot more potential for the hurdles to get much faster but going in the right direction.

Well there you have the great catch up of 2013. Hopefully I won't leave you hanging in rafters again as the next couple months unwind to Club Nationals. 

365: Week 16

4/15/13: Nothing like waiting til the last minute...someone save me!

4/16/13:This hangs in my office as my reminder to never give up on my dream, today it serves as remembrance of Boston, the unity of the running world, and why I run

4/17/13: Finishing a client session to a beautiful sun setting to bring a little more peace to my broken heart

4/18/13: How does one singular person make THIS much laundry in only 2 weeks...oh yeah a runner can do that

4/19/13:Banana bread, cupcake and a Boston beer make for a great stay in girls night...definitely needed after this week

4/20/13: April showers bring Park Avenue flowers

4/21/13:Someone staged the perfect NYC spring night shot for me

4/16

4/15

4/17

4/18

4/19

4/20

4/21

365: Week 15

4/8/13: Oh hello lover, all 400m of you, it's been a while did you miss me
4/9/13: This day was all about me, so self photo made sense. Basking in this gorg day (sunblocked up of course)
4/10/13: Spring has sprung
4/11/13: I am lion hear me ROAR! (and naturally this makes sense since I am a Leo and lions are pretty badass creatures, as are leos)
4/12/13: Laugh, it's the thing that gets me through the rough times and makes the incredible times even more enjoyable. It's also the single most important quality I look for in people to stay in my life. The ability to laugh & make one laugh is priceless.
4/13/13: Running 2 back to back PRs at a meet means one must commemorate the photo of the day with a pic of the track meet, obviously.
4/14/13: Cheering on the More Fitness 1/2 Marathon with some awesomesauce peeps ...oh look there's the ever amazing Deena Kastor (and if you don't know who she is, google her) speeding by, yea that happened

4/8

4/9

4/10

4/11

4/12

4/13

4/14

Heavy Heart

I woke up this morning exhausted from the weekend festivities but incredibly grateful for the insanely amazing things that were happening in my life at that very moment. I trained my client, then on the bus ride home started thinking about the Boston Marathon, I had a number of friends, current teammates from CPTC and old teammates from GBTC racing. I always get this crazy excitement when Boston comes around, even though I'm not a marthoner, nor have plans in any near future to become one (I won't say never). Did a quick social media wish to everyone, then got home to try and tackle my taxes (because I'm the queen procrastination and had to wait til the last minute to file). Of course I passed out as soon I got home, prolonging my tasks, then as I woke up the marathon top finishers started to roll towards the finish so I HAD to refresh twitter 20 thousand times to follow what was going on (since the marathon wasn't televised in NY), again prolonging looming tax tasks. Finally I put the phone down to start on the dread, didn't get too far before I was on my phone again playing in twitter land(yes a little bit obsessed).

 Then something happened, I started to see some disturbing tweets and photos. I wasn't sure if I was really reading what I was reading. Is this for real? Two explosions went off at the finish line of the Marathon? This can't be real? Then the tweets started coming in from reputable sources and they were coming in at an alarming rate. I felt my stomach tighten, and my heart feel like it was about to explode. Holy crap this is REAL! I didn't know what to do. I sat in my bed looking in disbelief at one particular photo and the constant tweets on my phone. In my lifetime so many devastating tragedies have hit, and all have saddened me. But this one hit home, really really close to home, too close to home. Home as in my running community, where the heart of my soul lives. Home as where I call where I'm from, Boston whether I'm near or far will always be the home of my heart. Home as where I had countless friends there running and cheering, where had I not had to work and race my own meet this past weekend would have been there cheering. Home. Home. I just couldn't. 

Only an hour before was thinking about the amazement of Kara Goucher asking how her friend/training partner Shalane Flanagan finished as soon as she crossed the line. Thinking about my own past training partners and how much they made an impact on me and really wishing I had that right now. Thinking about how resilient anyone that runs for 26.2 miles is, I have great respect for them. Thinking about how excited I was about my own 2 PRs I broke on Saturday. Thinking about all the crazy happiness I was experiencing. Then BAM how, why, what! I couldn't wrap my head around the events. I started sending out tweets, facebook posts and texts to anyone I knew that either lives there now or may have been in town. Slowly and thankfully I started to see that people were safe. But even with that security, my heart still sat in my stomach, all I wanted to do was hop on a bus to Boston and hug every single friend I know there. All I could think about were the people and their families that were injured/killed from this senseless act. All I could think about is could I possibly know someone that was right where the explosions went off. All I could do is pray, hope for the best. I felt lost, confused, I still do. 

In the light of the devastation I will remember runners are one big family, no matter where we are in the sport, novice, elite, sprinters, jumpers, mid-distance, distance and road. We are truly a resilient bunch, I mean put our bodies through some serious torture for so many reasons. We are crazy (in a good way). I will remember only yesterday watching and cheering on an empowering field of fierce ladies run the More Fitness Half in Central Park.  I will take out my old Greater Boston Track Club gear and wear it in unity for today's tragedy, even though I no longer compete for them. I will continue to run despite my heavy heart. I will continue after my running goals. I will remember the happiness running brings. I will unite as a runner. I will find solace in my sport. I will remember why I run. 

365: Week 14

4/1/13: I said YES! Ok so I couldn't resist an April Fool's joke (also this beauty of a ring is the workings of Erica Sara, check her stuff out for some great personal engraved jewelry esp running pieces)

4/2/13: SO many amazingly great things happened today but there was just something about this train station that called for POTD..the bizarre name and two random abandoned platforms on either side of the working platforms...quite intriguing

4/3/13: Step away from the Easter sale candy...that by the way is the 2nd bag of M&M's and there were 4 rows of peeps...I may or may not need an intervention

4/4/13: Opening Sox and Yankees at Yankee Stadium. You can take the girl outta Boston but you can't take the Bahston outta the girl

4/5/13: After almost week of pining over it I finally got one of my fav cupcakes from my fav bakery and it was pretty EPIC and a perfect way to end a fantabulous week

4/6/13: This might be the most random obscure reference I will make, but tell me that manhole cover does not scream Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (This is on the side of the hill I do my hill repeats on, so I see it every Sat & finally snapped a pic)
4/7/13: Shoe obsession, who me, I don't know what ever you might be referring to... I don't know about you but I just like to get prints of things I don't like to hang in my place

4/1

4/3

4/2

4/4

4/5

4/6

4/7

365: Week 13

3/25/13:  Impending spring snow won't stop buds from prevailing through

3/26/13:  Equality track style (I don't usually do edits like this but this pic for the day needed/deserved it)

3/27/13: Not a pack rat (you can't be living in NYC) but there are some things I just can't seem to get rid of...

3/28/13:  My good day and good mail (bottom right-seriously I LOVE handwritten notes with purchases and in general) had to go be ruined by the top piece of mail. Blah

3/29/13: 1st meet on Monday, goals need to be made. Yeah those 1st 2 columns are happening...I mean they were empty and I have no plans on racing anything over 800, so why not (yep I'm declaring that now so if you see me at a meet racing over that distance trip & push me off the track...no seriously, but just don't injure me)

3/30/13: Easter egg dying/decorating and hiding them for tomorrow's hunt for breakfast... done and done, because I'm just cool like that

3/31/13:  For lunch I'll have some sugar washed down with sugar... Nutella milkshake with double chocolate walnut cookie...it sufficed for my fav bakery washout and Easter bunny fail

3/25

3/27

3/28

3/26

3/30

3/29

3/31

365: Week 12

3/18/13: I should be all super upset like everyone else about snow in the middle of March, but really I'm not

3/19/13: Totally had another photo captured to share and was seconds from sending, then looked over and happened upon this beauty

3/20/13:  Reason number 2638 why I love this city, over the river and bridge brew-ha tour...with awesomesauce tap handles and tasty beers

3/21/13:  Why small businesses rock...do your big cooperate places send handwritten notes to you with your purchases?? Support small businesses

3/22/13:  This is my 15 min to spare before the day is over photo because I was too busy watching basketball all day before going into work for a last min pick up shift

3/23/13:  March madness shadow play

3/24/13:  And the urban windowsill garden begins

3/19

3/18

3/21

3/20

3/22

3/23

3/24