I've always compared my running from the very first time I joined the cross-country/track team in high school to the book 'The Little Engine that Could'. My little train has had it's hills to pull the load over, and it's succeed for the most part but there's always a new hill to conquer. My new hill isn't such a new hill just a long one that's not moving quite as quickly as my chugging heart would like it to. I'm making those adjustments to pull harder as I go along but one minor glitch holds me back. Competitions and my mental attachment. I train hard but when it comes to meet day I sometimes fall short of expectations. Earlier on when I came back from my break I realized I had too high expectations so I learned to make reachable hopes, but as of lately what I thought was reasonable hasn't been so attainable. I'm trying to be as optimistic as I can, but some days it begs to be difficult. Meet after meet I question what's gone wrong, then start to analyze numbers and times, doesn't always add up, and they won't because there's nothing wrong with the numbers, it's all in my head. Don't get me wrong I run because I love it, not for reach of certain times or bragging rights but when you put so much time and effort in to something, you really want that recognition to come out in your races. I believe somehow through the fog I will keep huffing and puffing along up my hill until I finally get to top to say "I knew I could", to start my next hill. It's just a wonder when and how.
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