What should have been

Though my racing this indoor season has been on par to being the best season I've ever raced, it's been quite dismal as well. I only say dismal because this is the least I've ever raced. Up to date not including the race I'm about to recap has only been 2 and it's the end of January which in turn is closing on the end of the season. Usually by the end of December I've got 2 races under my belt coming into peak for February. Granted December going into the beginning of the New Year was super crazy for me with the whole move and whatnot, so I'm not too surprised.
Race #3 brings me to Boston to the very meet that started this blog BU Terrier Invitational. Though I'm in a very different stage in my running career than then, I still get stuck in those same disappointing reveries sometimes. This race in my mind turned into a bomb (some will disagree with me). I think that the lead up to the race was most likely what the "downfall" was. My day didn't quite start off in the most relaxing way possible and everything I usually do beforehand didn't happen. I didn't make matters any better by getting anxious & not sitting still the hours leading up to my race. My execution definitely was far from how it should have gone and though I ended with a PB, I didn't feel good about how it panned to be (this is where the disagreement is). I'm trying not to be too hard on myself because yes a best is a best, BUT I know that my racing shape should have put me at least 2 seconds faster. I'll leave it at that because I really don't want to hark on what should have been. Lesson learned staying consistent with pre-race rituals and relaxing the mind & body beforehand are key to performance. On to the next...